The 411 on Perceptions

Alright hold up, look at this picture

What the hell ?

What is that dumb guy doing in the way of the truck ?

Wow, my hero...

Revolution starts with absolution brahhh !!!!

Fight for your rights !!

Uhmm, your kinda in our way dude ?

By the way, the picture above was the 'Unknown Rebel' who stood up against oppression in Tianamen Square ~ google it


On the above in red are all probably the different things that different individuals would say to this picture. This is caused solely by different perceptions.

Defined by our Human Communications textbook, it is an act of noticing, interpreting and organizing data about people, events, activities and situation. But psychologically speaking, is the process of attaining awareness or understanding of sensory information.

Its not really as simple as it seems it is; as there are actually a lot of components involved in the formation of perception. What one perceives is a result of interplays between past experiences, one’s culture and the interpretation of the perceived.

So you see, with someone from a different culture, someone with no past experience of being oppressed or anything as such, they would not understand the deed done by this individual and therefore, would perceive it as something stupid or not of importance.

On the other hand, if you were there at Tianamen Square, you would have understood it. Maybe this was what the guys from System of a Down were trying to convey to us in their song, Hypnotize.

To give you a better grasp on the issue of perception, observe this picture,




A little info on the picture. This picture was taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine. The picture shows a starved, deprived child crawling towards a United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.

IMO, the vulture is stalking the child, waiting patiently for it to die so it can eat it. This picture, shocked the whole world. Kevin Carter was the photographer who took this picture. At that time, photographers were not allowed to touch their subjects as fear of the transmission of diseases. No one knows what had happened to this child.

In the same year, Kevin Carter won the Pulitzer Prize Awards for this picture.
3 months later, he committed suicide due to depression.

Touching? Your perception.

K.Reshan a/l Kalaarajan
B0801442

Nonverbalcommunication

According to experts, a substantial portion of our communication is nonverbal. Everyday , we respond to thousands on nonverbal cues and behaviors including postures, facial expression, eye gaze , gestures , and tone of voice. From our handshakes to our hairstyles, nonverbal details reveal who we are and impact how we relate to other people.

there are types of nonverbal communication. in my opinion. i think the most important is:

Appearance

Because the choice of colour, clothing, hairstyles, and other factors affecting appearance are also considered a means of nonverbal communication. Research on colour psychology has demonstrated that different colour can invoke different moods. Appearance can also alter physiological reactions, judgement , and interpretations.

For Example:

Assume that they applied for manager in your company will you hired him/her?

by Choong Chin Choa

Perception

Perception to me is ones thoughts towards something or someone. Perception defined in Human Communication as noticing, interpreting and organizing data about people, events, activities and situation while in Psychology perception is the process of attaining awareness or understanding of sensory information which pretty much means the same thing.



we always consciously or subconsciously have perception towards or about other people.
since we have perception day in day out. You know there would be factors that would influence these perception which includes our own narratives, perceptual tendencies, situational factor,culture and ones ability and willingness to empathize.(according to syllabus)
Other factors that influences ones perception: (Some might be similar to the one stated above)

• Previous learning and experiences.
• Attitude and interest.
• Needs and feelings
• Current Situation.
• Socio-economics(occupation, level of education, environmental factors)
• Personal Differences(age, gender ,race)
• Cultural Differences(customs, believes, historical perspective)

we had a game called human cluedo. we had to interview them and find out who killed the wife and their personalities.

why?well,different characters came up with different stories. Perception is a process of noticing, organising and interpreting data about people, events, activities and situation.

For Example,

man`s body with tattoos, he is more likely to be a thug, gangster, mafia and etc etc etc..

Or if someone ride a motorcycle with all kinda of street skills, he is more likely to be mat rempit. mat "Ah Fong"(means crazy in chinese) or etc etc etc...

BUT,

Man`s with tattoos may assume that tattoos is type of body art or some moments in his life he wants to remember and cherish(have to watch miami ink).

It could be filming movie or records a video and send to The World Most Amazing Video to win some cash.

Music is obviously another way to express their feelings towards something or someone. but how often could you relate yourself to music that has no words in the song at all?

We all experience non verbal communication in our daily lives. But what if i told you that there was a community of people who use drums, and drums only to communicate to others ?

And no, this aint some African Tribe.








The Community Drum Circle is a community based event where drums and rhythms are the cornerstones of their organizations. It is a noisy, yet fun, family based event.They empower each other in the act of celebrating community and life through rhythm and music.


Not these drums


More like these

People of all levels of musical expertise come together and share their rhythmical spirit with whatever drums and percussion they bring to the event. Everyone who comes and participates has something to offer the circle, and any one is welcome.

This community bases its messages, almost unilaterally, through rhythm and rhythm only. Gabriel Roth, of the Community Drums Circle, says that

The spirit and magic of rhythm expressed on drums and percussion instruments cuts through all ages, sexes, religions, races and cultures.

What members of the Drum Circle do is that they collaborately create an event where they come together as a community, to drum their rhythms of life, and changes relationships in the form of positive energy. And this is all achieved via drums. The release as well as the healing is very different for everyone but the main goal of a unified community is achieved.

The quality of the music produced in an event like this is not based on the rhythmical expertise of the players, but on the quality of their relationship with the other people in the circle. The result is those magical musical moments where one powerful voice is created out of the many. In those moments, the players stop worrying about keeping time because time, as they know it, has stopped. In its place is a living breathing entity, expressing timeless joy, passion and release through the power of rhythm.

This people, is the beauty of a community drum circle.

This also comes to show that music and rhythm is a powerful means of non verbal communication.

Drums, non verbal communication? Almost reminds me of Hitler.
See, what Adolf Hitler used to do was to assemble all his troops to the haunting, repetitive, sounds of drums pounding until he had a whole cavalry of mindless robots willing to further his goal of Nazi superiority. See how powerful is the power of rhythm?

Until then, check yourself before you wreck yourself!

K.Reshan a/l Kalaarajan

B0801442

Cues

I was in a train when i saw this ads.Straight it reminds me of paralanguague. When we mention about non verbal communication(NVB), we are most likely to think of movements,body gestures,facial expressions and etc. But we'd(at least i am) never thought that spoken words(even written) are also Non verbal cues. Then it got me thinking about Glen's example on paralanguage( the example on fatin's distinguish look). This is the latest commercial from Bonuslink regarding on e-wallet or something similar to that about paying bills through cellphones(it doesn't matter). Now if you see the tagline says " WE PAY ALL YOUR BILLS". They are using paralanguage in their ads by higlighting the word "all" to give the spotlight on it with underlying meaning that all bills can be paid through this service..electric,phone bills, house loan and etc. I guess bonuslink has done a very good job, they caught my eyes.Sarcasm is one way of how we use paralanguage, perfectly with voice tone to emphasize even if it has been said with literal meaning (its one thing that im good at). For instance, once during Legal studies tutorial, we were asked to introduce ourself (with the age and all) and one of the students was hesitating to inform her age simply because she thought that she was the oldest in the class (she is 20 years old) and then, Jac chimed in and said " dont worry, Vick is older than you. he's 22" and Vick spontaneously replied "oh,thank you jac". He just knows how to be sarcastic. And just now i was watching Evan Almighty on Starmovies, i laughed my guts out when Evan said thanks for sharing after a bird pooped on his shoulder. That's one way to put it.

Another instance is when we're upset or frustrated. We say things like "i see", "right.." or anything when the other communicator said something that is in deed very long and we just give them a short reply to indicate that i am uber pissed off /frustrated. Sometimes we use it to show that we are not interested to communicate with them. Also, voice tone can tell you about yourself,your personlaity. Whether you are a confident or someone with low self esteem and etc. Even handshakes can tell your personality...partially. Thus, handshakes is important during interviews to maintain the good first impression. Again, this emphasis that first impression is important. Bear in mind that if you are about to hit on a girl, please maintain a good impression. There was this dude i saw at the train station, i can see that he was staring at me even he was standing 10 feet away from me. While i was at the counter, buying the train ticket, without hesitating, he came and stand near(beside) me. It was close enough to make me feel extremely uncomfortable. Proxemics(distance) is a very important element of communication. Instead of drawing my attention, this dude actually freaked me out. Now, gentlements, that is not the way to tackle a girl. Do that more often and you are most likely wont get any girl.




Yawning sometimes indicates " boring..."
(other than the fact the our brain is lacked of oxygen)

Eye Movement and Lying

Lying seems like has become an indispensable part of our life. Research done by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Virginia shows that most people lie once or twice a day. This result did not include the mindless pleasantries. Why do we tell lie? Of course, there are thousands of pretext that we can reason out to defend ourselves. However, sometimes we lie so that we will not hurt other people 's feelings which can also called white lie. In DePaulo's study, it also revealed that "false positive" lie (white lie) are about 10 to 20 times more frequent than "fake negative" lie.

The study, again, proved that men and women communicate in different ways. According to the research, men are more likely to lie about themselves. In contrast, women are prone to lie to protect other's feeling. Other than that, women generally have a better skill in figure out who is the deceiver and deceive others. On the other hand, men are on the other way round.

Well, what we concern when discussing the topic of lying is how can we know who is lying and who is not? Below is a some eye movement clues that you can look out when judging whether a person is lying to you. However, this may not be true for everyone and only investigate eye movement is not enough for making a conclusion.

Visual Accessing Cues

When asked a question a "normally organized" right-handed person looks (from your viewpoint, looking at them):

Up and to the Left
Indicates: Visually Constructed Images (Vc)
If you asked someone to "Imagine a purple buffalo", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Constructed" a purple buffalo in their mind.

Up and to the Right
Indicates: Visually Remembered Images (Vr)
If you asked someone to "What color was the first house you lived in?", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Remembered" the color of their childhood home.

To the Left
Indicates: Auditory Constructed (Ac)
If you asked someone to "Try and create the highest the sound of the pitch possible in your head", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Constructed" this this sound that they have never heard of.

To the Right
Indicates: Auditory Remembered (Ar)
If you asked someone to "Remember what their mother's voice sounds like ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Remembered " this sound.

Down and to the Left
Indicates: Feeling / Kinesthetic (F)
If you asked someone to "Can you remember the smell of a campfire? ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they used recalled a smell, feeling, or taste.

Down and To the Right
Indicates: Internal Dialog (Ai)
This is the direction of someone eyes as they "talk to themselves".

Reference:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=19970501-000033&page=2
http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies_eyes.php

The Power of Language

It is indisputable that language makes big influence and difference in verbal communication. Just take an incident that happened two days ago as an example.

I had lent my friend, X my rice cooker and a bowl about one week ago. Besides borrowed my utensils, X also borrowed a plate from my roommate and a tin opener from my friend who is staying beside my room. One important thing to note is X is not borrowed the stuff for himself, but for his friends. X always helps his friends (the same friends) borrow things from my group of friends. However, this is not the thing that we care. The thing that matter (a little bit only) is X did not tell us that the things that he borrowed are for his friends. At this moment, you must be wondering how we knew it. The answer is sometimes the person who returned the things to us was X’s friend, and occasionally, he told my roommate he is borrowing the things for his friends. (After borrowing the things)

To be honest, we do not like one of X’s friend as she is very arrogant and does not say ‘hi’ to us although we have been in the same class and often see each other in college and hostel. She did not reply ‘hi’ or smile to us even when we said ‘hi’ to her. Nevertheless, she did notify others who she considered intelligent. Such a bigheaded person… (X does not know that we are not very happy with the girl) Although we are not very happy with her, this will not stop us from lending her things. We are not such stingy people.

When X borrowed the stuff, he did not tell us when he will return the things to us. At the night which X borrowed the stuff, my roommate sms X and asked him when he will return the stuff to us as one of the things he borrowed was belonged to my friend who stays beside my room. As we are not very close to the friend, it is not good to borrow her thing for a long period although we had told her it is borrowed for another friend. Back to the sms, he replied “later”. However, he did not return the stuff. My roommate had sms X several times after that day regarding this matter to ask him when he will return those things. Nevertheless, the same results turned out. X broke all his promises, so I do not have a good impression on him already.

On last Thursday, X, finally returned the stuff to us when I was on the way home to my hometown. Among the stuff that X returned to us, there were extra spoons which were not belonging to us. In order to make sure those are not my spoons, my roommate sms me. The sms is like this: “You did not borrow any spoon from X?” Then I was confused. I spoke to myself: “Har? Is there any error in this message?” However, I was a little bit annoyed. So, I replied her with this message: “Who want to borrow his spoon wor? I also have many spoons la. No. He said I borrowed from him?” At last, she said she had made an error in that message. It should be: “X did not borrow any spoon from you?”

From this, we can see that how language makes a huge impact in communication especially when my roommate made the syntactic error in the usage of ‘borrow’ and ‘lend’. Besides, it is obvious that ‘No single person or event causes another’s reaction’. Communication is a process. The things that annoyed me were not the message only, but all those things that linked together. Furthermore, intrapersonal and dyadic communications occurred when I spoke to myself and the communication between my roommate and me.

Flirting

Non-verbal communication is commonly used in the process of flirting.Body language is a very important element in the whole attraction process.Most non-verbal actions are unconscious, both in their application and interpretation. Woman are really into body languages.They usually judge men by their non-verbal communication within seconds of meeting them.Your ability to communicate non verbally decides whether you are successful or not during the whole flirting process.That’s why it’s so important to focus on mastering body language principles.

There are few rules on non verbal communication(NVB) during flirting. First of all, look don't stare. Stare is the common mistake during the flirting process. Some girls would get really irritated when guys stares at them. They find that it is extremely rude to stare. Look and stare are two different thinsg.So,don’t stare, but by holding someone’s gaze slightly longer when talking, it will show your interest in them.Eye contact is very important, it tells that you are sincere.Meanwhile, smile up until your face aches! Smile shows your confidence(as long as you dont fake it). Girls will feel more confident when you are confident around them and then communication will take you to the next level. Evade fiddling when nervous. Guys usually do random stuff with his hands when nervous, he might even touch his face for no apparent reason. He's just searching for things to do i pressume..Then, if the communication is going well, dont forget to mirror the movements of those you are talking with. Make this subtle, but by casually following the physical pace of your conversation partner, it builds rapport.

Language

Mr Murali has repeatedly told us in class in language,the meaning lies in people and not in the language itself. As it is demonstrated by the comedian Russel Peters, a gesture of asking someone if they would want to eat by the Indian people is perceived as a vulgar sign in Italy.

But what if I asked you this. Which one comes first, language or thought? There is a hypothesis called the Sapir Whorf Hypothesis. This hypothesis implies that the usage of a certain language regulates the habitual thought of its speakers.

I, as a matter of perception, am a firm believer in this hypothesis. Wouldn't that explain why in a new environment, we tend to be more comfortable with people who speak the same language as us? Our habitual thinking is moulded by language. Another example, why do we only have 2 to 3 words for snow while the Inuit people of Alaska have over 26 words for it? Simply because it means more to them; what means more to a person would have a higher linguistic value to them.

Alright, back to our discussion about language. It is very evident that language is a powerful tool.

As example, language, when used assertively, can exert power. Just think of it this way. If i wanted to get a subordinate to do something, I could say

Hey, could you help me grab a cup of coffee?

or, used to exert authority,

GRAB ME A CUP OF COFFEE !

Furthermore, language also could converge or diverge. This is among some of the interesting features of language.

That would be all for this post. Stay tune for more!

K.Reshan a/l Kalaarajan
B0801442

Self Talk

This guy is not crazy...he is communicating with his inner self.

I hope the above video helps you to clarify more about intrapersonal communication .
Intrapersonal communication can be defined as "communicating with one self" . In a more casual definition, it's the little voices that live in our head. They are not hallucinations or delusions. It is one way to re-evaluate ourself. Intrapersonal communication helps you to see situations from another view. In dyadic communication/interpersonal communcation , it requires two persons to interact as a sender and receiver, but in intrapersonal communication, we are the sender and also the receiver and we give feedbacks to ourself.

Intrapersonal communication encompases:

• Nocturnal dreaming(Lucid dreaming)
• Day dreaming
• Spekaing aloud( we {at least i do} sometimes literally talk to ourself aloud eventhough no one can hear us. Some people might think we are crazy. So, face the consquences..lol)
• By writings. For example journals, diaries even blogging!
  
• Gestures while thinking. While we were thinking, we usually make gestures.

When you are "emotionally unstable"(upset for example) you might want to consider communicating with yourself. Sometimes when we're upset, we just say things without considering others' feelings. It may help you to learn to be considerate about others' feelings when you say something that is subject to your emotional thinking but not your rational thinking.

Listening vs. Hearing

Many people misunderstood the concept of listening and hearing. Before i go any deeper, let us get the definition of listening and hearing clear.

Hear: 1)To be aware of sounds with your ears
2) To listen or pay attention to somebody/something

Listen: 1)To pay attention to somebody/something that you can hear
2)To take notice of what somebody says to you that you follow
their advice or believe them.

(cited from Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary)

In the textbook, hearing is defined as "the process which sounds waves strikes the eardrums and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain" while listening occurs when the brain reconstructs these chemical impulses into a representation of the original sound and then gives them meaning.


Now, obviously, listening and hearing are not the same thing that we always perceive them to be.

Listening is not a natural process.

Many people think that listening is involuntary, like when we breathe but it is not. Listening is a skill, like speaking, all of us can speak but only few people can do it well. It is a skill that can be improved.

What differentiates listening from hearing is that listening requires effort.
We does not have to put effort to hear but when we need to listen, it requires our full attention and also requires mental effort by the receiver to understand what the speaker(sender) is trying to say.

From my view...listening is not an easy task. We can hear what our lecturers are blabbing in front of the class, we can hear when our mom nags but the question is, do we listen to them?
so...don't just hear, but listen.

Failure to listen may cause misinterpretations. Thus, listening is very very very important in communication.

In a nutshell...

Parents! Do not just hear you kids but also listen to them as much as you want them to listen to you!